Worth
by Ahmiri
Summary: "I don't want to live anymore... I'm too weak. I don't care if it hurts; I probably deserve the pain. I set the blade against the inside my wrist, briefly wishing that some one cared enough to rush in and stop me." Not as depressing as it sounds. Pls read


**A short one-shot that came to mind while washing dishes. I hope you enjoy it! Out of all the characters in FB I think Yuki is probably the most prone to suicide, don't you think? So, please read, review, and enjoy this little angst fest of mine. (Written in present tense and first person. All italics are Akito's words coming back to Yuki in his thoughts and are taken from volume 15 of the manga. I think that's the one with his past, right?)**

**I don't own Fruits Basket or its characters; all rights go to Natsuki Takaya.**

My whole life I've been searching, it seems. All I ever wanted was some one who would accept me and smile. Some one who would want to be with me. That was all.

_"And you, Yuki, you're pitch black too. You're just my toy. Your mother gave you to me. That's as good as getting abandoned! Don't you get it? Everybody hates the Rat, stupid! Nobody cares! Nobody cares about you! You _need_ me. If I didn't care about you there'd be no reason for you to be alive!"_

Standing at the sink, Akito's words from so long ago are circling and pounding inside my mind. I stare at the knife sitting at the top of the mess of dishes, wondering… Would anyone really care if I no longer existed? Would anyone truly mourn the loss of my life?

_"Well, Yuki? Are you going to die?"_

Haru might, I concede. Shigure, I'm not sure about. I live in his house, but does he actually care about whether or not I live or die? What if the only reason I'm here is because of a favor he's doing for Akito?

_"Are you going to die?"_

My mother doesn't care; I'm only her tool. My brother hardly knows I exist. Both of them left me to live out my childhood in darkness and pain, surrounded by words that choked my soul into suffocation.

If even my immediate family doesn't care, then why _should_ I exist? I pick up the knife, wondering if it would hurt all that much. I'd once stared into a mirror, thinking similar thoughts. I'd hated my reflection because I couldn't stand that I was so pathetic and weak. I had stared at myself until I couldn't take it anymore, and had cracked and broken the glass just so I wouldn't have to see that worthless person staring back at me.

_"Are you going to die?"_

I don't want to live anymore. I'm too weak to force myself through any more empty and meaningless days. I don't care if it hurts; I probably deserve the pain. I set the blade against the inside my wrist, briefly wishing that some one cared enough to rush in and stop me. But no one does.

_"Are you going to die?"_

I take in a breath and just as I prepare to slice through the flesh I hear a voice talking with Shigure by the front door. A girl's voice. My grip loosens on the knife, without my meaning it to. I listen to their conversation. Are they talking about the Chinese Zodiac?

I put the knife back where it was originally. Maybe later. At the moment, I'm almost sure I need to shut Shigure up.

_"Well, Yuki? Are you going to die?"_

No. Not this morning, at least.

_~One week later~_

I'm helping Tohru wash dishes; she washes and I dry. I pick up a familiar knife and recall one morning a week ago, when I was willing to let my life bleed out on this self-same kitchen floor.

"Honda-san," I find myself saying. "If I died, would you miss me?"

Tohru drops the dish she's washing, soapy water splashing onto her apron a little. "Of course, I would! It would make me cry if you died." She bites her lip. "Sohma-kun, why would you die?"

"I'm not going to," I assure her. "I was only wondering."

I put the knife away, hearing the drawer shut with a sound of finality. I couldn't make Tohru cry, no matter how much I want to leave the world behind.

**So, I hope you liked it. Please, please review! I know there don't seem to be many Yuki fans out there, but I know there are at least some kindred spirits of mine who might have enjoyed this! I'll never know unless you tell me, so please let me know if you liked it (or if you didn't); reviews really do make my world a little brighter!**


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